Pokemon Black and White Review (DS, 3DS)

By Barry B. - Tue Mar 08, 11:06 pm

By Psy

I’ve got 2 badges – I would say that I’ve experienced “enough” to give a somewhat accurate review.

The quick review is that it’s more or less the same. It’s pokemon. With new pokemon. So you can pokemon while you play pokemon. Oh and wifi. And…what? Friend codes? Seriously?! We cannot get AWAY from this crap – FINE. I’ll deal.

So here’s these two assholes

And you’ve picked the girl unless you’re six because that guy looks like a giant douche and I would much rather play as Pants McShorty. Yeah that’s a nice purse there, skip. “It’s a man bag” Uh huh. And that’s a dress. “We’ve been over this, it’s a ROBE!”

Like I said, you’ve picked the girl. And you start on this incredible adventure to wander the face of the planet enslaving helpless wildlife to make them fight for your personal and monitory gain. Besides the 100 some odd new pokemon we now get motion tweens. I guess it’s better than having your pokemon stand there like a statue shake back and fourth and you have to imagine some amazing attack. Honestly? It does the job. Some moves seem very fluid – like my green monkey thing (I have no idea, I named him Coconuts how am I supposed to know what the hell he is), when he does vine-whip, it feels like the motion goes out his arm and snaps on the opposing pokemons FACE. Nothing’s more satisfying then the SNAP then the Super-effective noise. It’s like my crack. Do it again! OhHhhhohoOHoho! Mufasa! Mufasa MUFASA MUFASA!

There are still some things that “bother” me – but I guess they’ve always bothered me? You have to buy a specific potion/heal for every particular status ailment in the game. Maybe this is just me but I liked in Super Mario RPG when you were done with the fight your status effects would go away. That was nice. Not have to whip out a 500…whatever currency it is. My keyboard doesn’t happen to have that particular icon. *one google search later* Pokedollars. Ha. I should of known. Oh me and my limited knowledge of all things pokemon.

One more thing here in the general section before I start breaking down specific points – this will happen, and it will always happen. No matter how many times I use an ability, it will never crit, it’s status effect will never go off on a opposing pokemon – but their freaking Herdier will spam bite and I’ll flinch like a mo’fo, then fall asleep, then get confused, and the have just ONE MORE HEALTH I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL BREAK OUT EVERY SINGLE ONE OF MY POKEMON AND I WILL THROW THEM AT YOU – I WILL PICK UP MY MR. BACON AND THROW HIM IN YOUR HERDIER’S FACE KABLAAAAAM IT’S SUPER EFFECTIVE YOU LITTLE SHIT *ahem* But anyways…


Hey. There’s some kids. In a game. What’s a dinosaur to do? Somebody call their MAAAAAAWM!

Whatever couple of kids go around the world and capture pokemon blah blah blah – oh and team Plasma (read: PETA) tries to set all the pokemon free whatever I don’t care! I don’t care! Nobody cares! Nintendo spent all their budget on designing new pokemon and NOT on the story! The story is necessary just the same way a house is – you need it! It doesn’t need to be big and fancy but you NEED one. Unless you’re into caves. In which case how are you reading this?

That being said, I don’t think the lack of a “interesting” story is really that big of a deal for pokemon. If anything too much of a story would take away from the fact I want to throw MR. BACON into HERDIER’S FACE.

Works? Doesn’t work? Works!


This is where the pokemon series really shines. I’m 27. I’ve played my fair share of video games. And pokemon black and white is fun and engaging. I’ve got crazy ADHD and this game has me playing for hours! That being said, you better love classic turn based RPG elements because that’s all the game play is – except for a few moments when you’re running back and fourth trying to go to a pokemon center – you are fighting. You are being randomly pounced by trainers who wait and stalk their prey like a hungry lioness and when the time is right BOOM Pokemon battle. And you love every second of it.

The ONLY element that I don’t like is right after a gym battle the plot rears it’s big ugly head and is like PAY ATTENTION TO ME FOR 10 MINUTES okay now you can save and go to bed / get on with your life.

Fun? Not fun? Fun!


I guess I would call this more of an artistic display – most of the action takes place in 2D land and I think it works well. It doesn’t look BAD by any means – but it’s not really all that inspiring. Most of the artistic display is in the creativity (or lack thereof) of what the pokemon look like.

The towns are all 3D – but, again, there really isn’t any new ground being broken artistically. Kung-Fu Panda had some amazing arguments of color and space – that is not found in pokemon. Does it need to be? Not – not by any means.

Looks good? Looks bad? Looks good!


The main thing about this game, or any game, really – is game play. This game is damn fun and if you don’t buy it I think you’re missing out on a really fun title. Unless, of course, you’re not a fan of classic turn based RPGs – then you might not enjoy it. But, I think for the majority of gamers, it’s worth a buy.

I give this game a 4.5 out of 5 pokedollars (to the face!)

I’m Psyguy and this is Lo-Ping.org and I review it so you don’t have to!

1 Comment

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  1. 0

    I am also writing a review on Pokemon White. Your review just totally anal-raped my review.

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